Whole 30 - DAY ONE

Well, here it is! Day One! I can't believe I'm finally doing this.  I'm kind of overwhelmed with feelings of failure already.  I know I shouldn't and my husband keeps telling me to speak positive things.  I guess when you're just so hard on yourself already you think the worst is going to happen.  But after grocery shopping and meal prepping for this week, I felt pretty powerful actually! It is very strange.... Looking at a label an going "Nope!" and that feels very good and powerful.  The food that I have, I am actually excited to eat.  I think that's what's different about the whole 30.  I don't load my grocery cart up with leafy vegetables and fruit and a few low fat high chemical extras that I'm not excited for.  I get to eat grass-fed ground beef, Pork Loin, and chicken thighs.  I also get yummy fats like avocados, coconut oil/milk/butter, and it was awesome making the Whole 30 Mayo and the Sunshine Sauce.  Still gotta make the Morrocan Sauce though.

I followed this meal plan for week one, and that just took most of the anxiety away!  God bless Melissa Joulwan!  I followed everything to a T and it just really helped me feel more powerful and prepared.  Now I know I will need to take some initiative in the future to plan my own recipes and meals etc but I just for now need this plan showing me exactly what to do.

Soo last night, I had a few glasses of wine and ate a bowl of pasta for my "last meal".  I started pitching just about everything that was off plan, and ate a few of those things too.  Also very relevant because  yesterday was "Fat Tuesday", the day before Lent.  I decided to start today which was Lent as my co-worker who is doing it with me wanted to do.  So after I had my cheat meal and finished up meal prep, I GOT SICK.  Yeah, I got sick... what the hell.  Plus I got a whole lot of anxiety and dreams of failure.  This morning I was still a wreck from being sick at night and called of from work, which I really needed to go into work today to get some things done and be on track with my cases.  So, not the best start.  At all. I just made Aidell's Apple Chicken Sausage, reheated some green beans sauteed in coconut oil, half of a baked sweet potato, and half of an avocado.  I was/am still so sick I can't finish it. However, I have been talking with my co-worker who is doing it and we are both just really proud of ourselves for being on day one! It's exciting after talking about doing something and comparing notes on research we've been reading for like a year.  It's time to actually do something and stop being so miserable!  In our small town, there's not a lot of options and frankly, not a lot of other people eating the way we are.  We are the minority.  But we. are. doing. it.

So HERE WE GO!! WOOOOO!!!

Whole 30- Newbie Chronicles

Many of you may have found my little blog through my new instagram, Whole30_Newbiechronicles.  I'm happy you're here! You're now my little inner circle; the people who I share my thoughts with beyond what I normally would.  If you've found this blog, you probably don't know me personally, and I love that!  I share a lot on here and it's nice to be a little more open.

If you do know me, this blog may share a little more about myself than I share in my day to day with you.  That's okay too, but if you have any questions about things I post here, ask me in person! Also, maybe it's a good lesson in "don't judge a book by it's cover."

If you only knew what I was going through behind this smile.

When we last left off, I was healing and rejoicing in the renewal of something very important to me.  God had never left me and got me through the most difficult time in my life.  I was so excited, thankful, and happy.  I had lost over 40 lbs, some of it through healthy diet and exercise, and the other lbs were through starvation and overwork when I was walking my difficult journey.  I was down to 127lbs, and not in a healthy way.  When the stress subsided and my husband snuggled me, loved me and took me out to dinner all the time, I became relaxed, happy and thankful.

And fat.

I got fat.

There ya go, people!  See, I told you I would be honest.  Thank God for the support of lovely strangers. Don't judge. Don't judge.

I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease in April 2014.  More about that later.

I have been pretty miserable with my health for about a year, and the depression hit with my diagnosis.  I have been researching the Autoimmune protocol, Paleo, Endo Diet and other types of elimination protocols for about a year.  I'm a total nerd and I love reading about healing through nutrition.  I love that kinda crap.  

Enter in:  WHOLE 30!

One of my co-workers has been struggling with an autoimmune disorder as well and I have opened up to her with my struggles and trying to learn more.  She asked me last week to hold her accountable throughout her first whole 30 and asked if I'd like to join.  I quickly researched it and I was ALL IN.

So I totally completely freakishly jumped in!

Now, I am an informed junk food over eater.  I know it's bad, I know why, and I still eat it.  Did I mention I also have chronic stress disorder? 

Ya....I'm a mess...

I created aforementioned Instagram account and immediately began my personal journal.  I started my week one meal plan so that each Meal is accounted, shopped and prepped for.  I even got another co-worker and maybe my husband to join!

The day one of my Whole 30 is going to be on February 18th, which is the first day of Lent.  Please Join me along the way!

More Than Enough- A year & a half in review.

Let me catch you up to date since the last post you have viewed.

Much has happened, changed, been lost, been gained, been destroyed, been restored, and forgiven.  Forgotten.

And I am thankful.

SO... we moved to Florida.

Jacksonville, to be exact.

This is the night we arrived, full of excitement.  Nothing could bring us down! We lived in a place that looked like this, had exciting downtown life, restaurants, people, and business opportunities.  In fact, Dane started working at a Verizon in St. Augustine, a new location that he was excited to be at. The plan was for Dane to essentially "launch" this brand new store and we would be there 6 months then move back home to Ohio.

We moved into a fabulous apartment {that had a POOL!} and I set out to get new jobs & enjoy our new location. 

The goodwills here were the bomb.com.  We got our new Florida clothes and I got new jobs at Starbucks and Panera.  Dane started looking like this:

I got red highlights in my hair, kept working out, and I was looking all like this:

We were having a blast.  Life was good.  Love was in the air.  We were going out to eat all the time, dreaming, exploring our new home, and loving life.  We were about to buy these beautiful bikes to ride on the beach.  According to us, and our plan, life was about where we wanted it as a young couple.

Then, every thing changed.

There was intense hardship we didn't see coming.

I drew closer to GOD.

God said really sweet things to me like "You are not alone" and "I love you more than anything" and "I love Dane that much too".

And I learned to say "I know, I love you too" and that turned into "I know I can trust you" and that turned into "I trust you with everything" and that turned into "YOU are my everything.  Nothing else matters".

I lived like I never lived before.  I threw caution to the wind.  I loved God, I loved people, I loved my husband, with nothing in return.

For four months that summer and fall, I worked 80 hour weeks to stay where I was.

I worked at Starbucks a regular shift of 5am to 1:30pm and then a shift at Panera from 2pm to 11pm.

Then, my alarm went off at 3:45am and I did it all again.

Boy that did a number on me physically.

I said I was still dieting and losing weight but the reality is I was starving and overworked.  I looked like this:

When I was too exhausted to breathe, GOD gave me breath.  When I was more alone than ever, God gave me DIANA.

My mentor, my friend.  Diana was the friend of my manager at Starbucks.  She introduced us and little did we know what would happen next.  Diana was more than I deserved in a friend.  She was a breath of Grace into my life.  She taught me and poured into me.  We shared life together, we shared countless hours we should have been doing other things.  We shared our deepest parts of our souls.  She taught me SO much.

A year later, I learned that I even taught HER.

I was living and feeling more than ever before. 

I was walking in His strength daily.  I was attending Access Church, I was even teaching piano lessons to my Starbucks manager's son.  Carlisle was my faithful pal, forgiving me for the walks that turned into runs because I had to go back to work and snuggling me when I cried a little in my bed at night.


They also offered me promotion to shift supervisor at both Starbucks and Panera and the managers poured into me.

I worked with all my heart and lived with all my heart.  And prayed with all my heart.

And my prayers were answered.

On October 22, 2013, in Delaware Ohio this happened:

If you know me, you know this story and what is depicted in this picture.

If you don't, you don't know the story, but you just need to know this part.  GOD is enough.

God is ENOUGH. 

GOD IS ENOUGH.

He carried me through and walked beside me and I knew His promises to me were sure.  And I knew HE loved me and I knew He loved Dane and I knew that was enough.

The rest, as they say, is history.  The rest is just the details.

The meat is in that picture and in my heart.

Three Years of Marriage

God is MORE than enough.

Moving! {and not moving much on the scale}

In case a lot of you didn't know {which you probably don't because we haven't told many people} we are MOVING! {again...wah.. wah...}.  Which I am not really looking forward to but I am definitely going to try to see it as a positive and not a negative and more of a fresh "do over" if you will and a new start to the new changes I've already made in my life!  It is out in the country between where we live now and where we work so it will cut gas expenses in half and the rent is reasonable and no utilities except electric.  It was a hard decision but it was one we knew we had to make.  Dane is very excited to move out in the country which makes me happy because I think that maybe one day I could talk him into buying a house in the country! We will hopefully be staying in this duplex for a while until we save up a good down payment on a house.   The puppies can have a place to run and we will save money in gas and rent in the meantime.  So here's to a fresh start!

In other news, the 20 lb weight loss has only increased to a 21 lb weight loss in 1 week and a half's time! Just so you know, I was totally expecting this and I am not worried at all.  It's about time for me to switch up my exercise routine or modify  my eating habits so jump start the weight loss again and I am ready for the challenge! I am starting to follow some of the tips from this website.

Here's what happens when Dane horses around on the recliner.  I told him we would tip! Then the dogs got him :)

Skinny Mushroom Pasta

Today I tried a modification of a recipe from my favorite site right now, Skinnytaste.com! 

Let me tell you, pasta is one of my favorite foods.  I think it is my favorite food.  It's part of the reason I got so fat! When I was having a bad day, {or heck even a good day!} all I wanted was to curl up with a big bowl of buttery, cheesy, tomato-saucy pasta.  I would add hot pepper flakes and cilantro on top.  Now this might not seem that good to you but sadly it was heaven to me.  I know that,  to make matters worse, I ate well over the serving size.  I ate white pasta, not whole wheat, because I thought it tasted better. I added my favorite little meal to myfitnesspal.com this afternoon.  The results are staggering: 1,474 calories.  That's 274 calories more than my daily allowed amount.  I cried a little when I saw the total because I guarantee you I did not exaggerate the ingredients I put it.  I ate this huge bowl once to twice a week.

I am being real with you because I have to be real with myself.  People tell me that I was not that unhealthy and I appreciate their sentiment but I must tell you all that it is not true and I am not going to believe that complacent lie.  I was being unhealthy, all the while laughing and saying "I enjoy pasta! It's my favorite food, so what's the problem with a little indulgence?"  If we're not careful, our indulgence can make us obese by eating it just two or three times a week!

So in comes my little pasta experiment today.  Now, I have been reading how you can eat pasta on a healthy diet as long as it is whole wheat and in moderation but I have to be honest:  I have only eaten it twice and it scares me.  I don't trust myself with it.  But I have been working very hard lately and I was a bit under my calories today so I decided, pasta sounds good.  I am going to do this the smart way. 

I found Pasta with Asparagus on SkinnyTaste.com and decided I could modify it to Mushroom Pasta based on what I had.  My darling husband Dane loves asparagus so I would have made it with that and mushrooms if I had asparagus, but alas I did not.  This recipe was easy and oh so satisfying!  I made it with a cup of healthy, antioxidant packed green tea, and it was perfect for my 2:30pm meal.  With a calorie count of 240 per serving, this totally hit the mark for me.  Enjoy!

It's finally here! 20 pounds gone!

So, this kind of calls for a post! I finally hit my 20 pound milestone! This is such a big deal for me for two reasons- 1) It is really hard to get past that first initial 5 to 8 pound weight loss and it kind of slows down from there.  You're body actually fights you to get that 20 pounds off.  2) I am in the 140's! Which is a big deal to me because that's where I was on our wedding day! Of course I have a long way to go until my UGW.  The good news is that 125 is only 24 more pounds away and I am as motivated as ever!

As far as the BMI scale goes, I have 9 more pounds to lose to be within a healthy weight range which is the most important thing to me!  My risk for obesity related diseases will greatly diminish and most likely disappear.  This is something that a lot of young women today do not think about.  You might think that curvy is in (which it is) but when you go so far as to jeopardize your health, you will not be able to reason away the diseases that come with it.  That is what I am really convicted about.  I went so long thinking that someday the weight would magically melt off (like it did in high school) and telling myself that I was a healthy young woman.  I could have gotten hypertension, or type 2 diabetes, or heart disease, or PCOS which would mean I would not be able to provide my husband or I with children and my parents with grandchildren.  It's real people.  It's not a joke and you can't reason the diseases away.  I want girls my age to know that we are responsible for our bodies and we are in our mid twenties.  The pounds are not going to evaporate from here on out.  Respect your bodies for the long run!

Speaking of run, I ran 3 miles last night without stopping! It was amazingly easy and felt so good when I was done.  I am not so much focusing right now on a particular source of exercise or any program right now, mostly diet.  I do find that I have more energy, all types of exercise are more enjoyable to me, and I can do them as I please.  That's been the dream for me! I don't dread exercise because I pick what I do and I constantly surprise myself by what I can do!  I also found that last night helped to run with my friends, Emily and Micheal, who helped set my pace so that I didn't get tempted to burn myself out early.  I think Michael and I both agreed we could have gone four miles if the sun hadn't started going down!  And Emily is truly an inspiration from her hard work and commitment to becoming healthy! It really is great to have a good support system while losing weight.

To finish my happy post and day, here is a picture of my babe, Nahla! Happy Monday everyone! <3

Cilantro Lime Tilapia Tacos

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!

Today I made Cilantro Lime Tilapia Tacos and they were a hit with the hubby! Another successful recipe from Skinnytaste.com.  That Gina is a genius! I was a little nervous because fish and taco never seemed to go together to me.  I gave them a try and they turned out excellent! Super duper healthy too.  Tilapia and the avocado I included add those important MUFA's (monounsaturated fatty acids). 

I started reading The Flat Belly Diet today and I must say I am very interested.  I am learning about visceral fat and the negative effects that kind of fat around your mid-section can have on your health! It's kind of scary! If you are a lady and you have larger than a 35" waistline you are at risk for a plethora of medical conditions which include diabetes and heart attacks! 

In more uplifting news, today is 150 lb day and I'm very excited about the fact that in a few short days (or hours!) I will be in the 140's!! And I will have hit 20 pounds gone! Oh yeah! Woot woot! :)  After that, not to far to go until my ultimate goal weight of 125! I am feeling very motivated:)