Whole90 Day 61

Helloooo Whole30 Homies,

I am reporting to you from the trenches of a Whole 90, Day 61!  I am over a third of the way to the end of this journey which will be July 20th, 2016, my thirtieth birthday.

This is my present to myself.  I don't have a lot of money to even think about planning something special, and I am so glad I decided to do this back in April.  I have had several false starts with Whole30s, starting many rounds and completely finishing about four rounds.  One such round was this past January leading up to my little sisters wedding.  I felt great at the end!

It's so funny how quickly I forgot how good I felt when my husband would want to order Chinese food!  I mean crab rangoon, how could I resist.

I am almost to that point where Psychologists say a healthy food habit is formed, which is 66 days.  I can feel it.  I can totally feel it.  I also am totally bored with cooking!  I made chicken salad recipe yesterday and ate the left overs today and I am just not feeling it.  I know there is nothing non compliant in it but it just made me feel sick.  I think I'm in the food boredom stage.  But I know that mozz sticks and ice cream would make me feel worse! So I'm pressing on.

I even feel like I could go on and do a Whole120 after this but let's not get ahead of ourselves!

My NSVs so far:

Not feeling as hungry all the time!  I get very full easily.

New recipes that I now love! Lots of curry based dishes that are the bomb.

I am totally finally motivated to exercise! This is huge for me.  Like really huge.

I can mow my whole yard, no problemo.  I never mowed before.

My skin is so much clearer.  I also use Fatface cleansing oil as well.

My skin on my body feels smoother and happier.  I don't need to moisturize with lotion a lot.

I smell good?  I don't know how to describe it.  My deodorant is almost not necessary but it smells like lavender and I like it.

I started oil pulling and supplementing with liquid Chlorophyll.  My breath is soo much better.  My dad and my brother (my biggest critics) said my breathe smelled really good on Sunday! This is huge.

I feel skinnier and more confident with my body. My clothes fit way better.  I have gone down at least one pants size, probably two.

SV (scale victories):

I have lost 17 pounds as of 60 days on the Whole30!

Well there ya go!

More updates to come on this Whole90 journey!!

Bethany

What the Whole30 taught me about My Silent Enemies that I Refuse to Ignore

I have now been through four cycles of Whole30 since February of 2015 #whole30alumni (and many months of being off the wagon) and I have learned several important lessons!  One of the biggest things I have learned through my Whole30 journey is about the sneaky epidemic of inflammation and how it can mess with your body in ways you never imagined.  I know for me, eliminating dairy and other inflammatory foods have been life altering!  I never realized that just a little butter with my steak could make me stuffy the next morning or a little ranch dressing could make my acne flare up.  I know that know that I mostly follow a Whole30 template and add in "Worth it" cheats here and there.  Now my idea of worth it is changing!

I also feel as though a little wine is NOT just a little wine.  I know now that alcohol is a toxin, no matter how many carbohydrates or sugars, or if it's just Gluten Free Hard Cider.   It still affects your body the same way and it is still bad for you.  Now that's not to say that I won't have a drink of wine here or there, but I am very aware of what it is doing to my body and how I need to care for it before and after.  And what I can expect from my body the next day.

Soy is another sneaky enemy I know will be out of my life.  I used to drink a Soy Cinnomon Dolce Latte from Starbucks every day.  Every day!   I used to work at Starbucks when we lived in Jacksonville and I thought it was a 'healthy' dairy free option.  Then I learned that it made my body produce more estrogen and it also made my cycle hell!  That summer I literally thought I was going to die by period.  No joke.  Nooooo joooookkkeee.  I don't even touch the tofu in the miso soup when we go out for sushi.  I don't put soy sauce on NOTHIN' and nobody can make me.  It is that instantly painful for me.

Gluten and grains in general.  Don't miss ya.  I never realized how jacked gluten can make your tummy.  Why would I want to constantly feel stomach pain?  And all the carbs in bread and chips mess with your blood sugar and makes you crash.  Wah wah... no thank you.

Sugar, don't crave ya!!  When I even taste artificial sweeteners it's just too much.  I have discovered the name for what I crave thanks to Melissa Joulwan's blog.  She says it is called "Umami" and it is a meaty savory flavor.  That's me to a T!

Now a days, I follow a pretty close Whole30 template, I constantly shop the staples such as protein and veggies, I prep sweet potatoes, Chili, whole chicken, bone broth, Whole30 Mayo, Sunshine Sauce, some sugar free bacon, and I've added a Vegan Protein shake to my regimen.  I also take Chromium, Magnesium, Fish Oil, NAC, and Myo-Inositol.  I drink my warm lemon water every morning.  I feel better but I feel the need for a pure Whole30 coming on!  My husband and I also bought a treadmill and elliptical machine last week.  He's doing a low carb approach right now and has lost a few pounds. He's getting a lot of veggies and protein in so I am proud of him!

I love looking at everyone's photos on Instagram!   They are so inspiring!  They help me keep up this Whole30 lifestyle.

Bethany

Whole30 Round 3!

I am so very excited that my husband and I will be starting a Whole30, Round 3 (for me, Round 2 for him) tomorrow May 26th!  My husband had such great results the first time that the Whole30 Instagram page re-posted my picture of him and even created a new hashtag especially for him:  #beardsofwhole30.  Haha!  

The before and afters I snapped of Dane that were reported on Inst by the Whole30 page!

I was so proud of my husband for doing it and really didn't notice the difference until I snapped the picture and put them side by side.  He lost weight really fast and ended up losing 16 pounds.  He was really proud of himself and I am too.  

Coming into Round Three I feel really good and really confident, because of the previous two rounds.  I know what I like and how to set myself up for success.  I know that I went off plan quite a bit these past few days but before that was really trying to eat Paleo between Round 2 and now.  I can honestly tell when I eat something and how it directly makes me feel better or worse.  One of the things I miss is the sweet, sweet Whole30 sleep.

My goals this round are:

Better sleep

Less muscle/hip pains

Tiger Blood faster (last time was day 26 and 20)

Try some new recipes

Feel better in my clothes

Anyone else starting Whole30 soon?  I'd love to hear from you!

Bethany

@Whole30_Chronicles

Whole30 Results

Wow! I did it!  Thirty Whole Days of only real, whole, clean foods.

And I LOVED it.

Here's a recap of my 30 days, the good, the bad and the Ugly...  Oh yeah.

A little bit about my history.....

Those of you who do not know me, please be aware that I have been diagnosed with a very serious very painful autoimmune disorder that is of the Lady Persuasion.  It affects my life very deeply and very significantly.  If you do not want to read about this, this blog post is not for you.

However, I'm not going to apologize for having it.

I mean, I kinda have to deal with it, not you, and aren't you blessed:)  I have been a lot better about talking about it and just not being embarrassed about it anymore.  I have suspected that I have a autoimmune disorder called 'endometriosis' since I was 14 years old.  My normal doctor mentioned it after I told him how sick I was during my cycle but then never said or did anything about it and I suffered for 14 more years.  In April of 2014 I began seeking out answers after my husband and I had still not conceived a child after not preventing and trying for 4 years.  That's when after MRI's and Ultrasounds, an office worker called me on the phone (I was in the car transporting a teenage foster child to her foster home so I couldn't ask questions).

She said "You have adenomyosis; it's something having to do with your uterus".

Literally.  That's what she said.  And nothing else.  I'll keep the anger part to myself.

So I officially have a diagnosis of Adenomyosis.  To be officially diagnosed with Endometriosis, you have to undergo surgery called a Laparoscopy.  I was supposed to get one in January 2015 and I decided not to at this point but I may decide to in the future.  So if you want to learn more about all that it entails, I really like this post from Yellow Paper Dress and The Pink Hair Girl.  I literally fell into the deepest depression I think my body is capable of experiencing.  I remember freezing up that next day and I couldn't move out of my chair after crying all day and feeling sick.  I called my sister and asked her to help me out of my chair because I was scared that I couldn't move. I look back on that now and realize that wasn't just a physical reaction, it was an emotional, mental and spiritual one.  There aren't words to describe what this past year has felt like for me.  I researched and realized that my prospects of becoming a mom were bleak.  That just almost destroyed me.  Beyond that, my husband started a new business and we weren't getting any income on his part but he was working harder than ever, I worked at a job that dealt with less than stellar parents (and sometimes removing children from their care) and on top of that, the pain of adenomyosis was flaring like none other (stress anyone?).  In January of 2015 I sat and cried to my doctor about EVERYTHING.  She diagnosed me with Chronic Stress Disorder.

That being said...

My co-worker and I had talked a lot over this past year about the research we have individually done on the the effect of food on our bodies.  She had a very serious condition and her doctor had recommended The Paleo Diet.  She loves sugar and had found it hard to stick to anything like that. We would get coffee in the morning at the office, talk about interesting articles we had read about how food can heal, and then said, maybe someday we can follow through on a diet like that!  We both work in a very stressful field (Child Welfare) and she is actually in the legal field (very stressful).  We just didn't think we could realistically do it, but we knew we COULD.  Seriously, months we talked about it people.  MONTHS!

Enter the Whole30!

Day One was the first day of Lent.  The co-worker who encouraged me to do it had found a support group online and they had all decided that the first day of Lent was a perfect day to start.  For me, I wanted the support of someone I knew that was doing it, so I decided to also start on February 18th with her.  I had never observed Lent even though I am a Christian and I thought this would be a nice way to prepare myself for Easter.  In addition to doing the Whole30, I decided to make a concerted effort to do my devotionals each day and to also Journal.  I really have always loved journaling and during significant parts of my life, I have been drawn to journaling out my life.  I also love the art of cursive and like to keep my handwriting up to par.  (Hey, it's about to become a lost art and I feel a responsibility to keep it alive! You write FASTER people!)

Day One also happened to be........

The first day of my monthly cycle.

If you read the above links, you get a little picture of what this means for me.  It usually means missed work and being generally out of commission.  I stay in my bed or chair wrapped up in blankets with my heating pad, take 800 mg of Ibuprofen every four hours (3 1.2 hours if I just can't make it to 4.  My doctor freaked the freak out when he learned about this and told me to take a drug so my liver wouldn't give out because I told him I wasn't taking Narcotics and I wasn't living with the pain) and pray that I would either die or feel better.  It's a very helpless/depressing/horrible place to be.  And I get this way every 26 days of my life for 4 days at a time.  It doesn't care about special occasions or plans either.

On top of this, I had the flu and after meal prepping all evening, was up all night getting sick.

But I was NOT deterred.

I had spend WEEKS preparing for this mentally and had already meal prepped.  (Thank you thank you thank you Melissa Joulwan for this meal plan.)  I wasn't hungry but I had to eat sometime, and why not eat the meals I had already prepared?  I eased into the eating part with no problem due to the prep.

I also have never really liked sugar.  Honestly.  It makes me a little sick.  I never like pop or carbonated drinks.  I had a really huge advantage here, I realize.  I have always liked savory flavors, or what is called Umami.  This diet was playing into all those tastes and flavors.  I was able to put Himalayan Pink Sea Salt and Garlic Powder on my sweet potatoes, steamed veggies and chicken and pretty much anything I cooked.  I added avocado and a little sauce (Sunshine, Morrocan, or Whole30 Mayo)I kept my little sautee pan on the stove, heated up coconut oil, and made my little hot plates each day.  I cleaned out my sautee pan every day or two and besides the meal prep dishes, didn't really feel that overwhelmed with dishes or clean up.  I was living the dream.  Once I started the Whole30, my body felt very different in many good and some bad ways.  Here's my list:

The 'side effects'.

1:. There's Exhuasted, then there's this....

I have never been so tired in my entire life!  At first I was really careful to separate my adenomyosis symptoms that I regularly have from Whole30 withdrawals.  For the first 2 weeks solid, I was exhausted.  I was still drinking coffee (now black) and was needing it in the afternoons as well.  Now I realize that this was a never ending cycle of exhaustion so I drink caffeine, then I can't sleep, then the day starts all over again.  I was exhausting my adrenals.  My next goal will probably be less coffee.  I read Melissa Hartwig's article on quitting Coffee and it really spoke to me! Word for word.  I am pretty emotionally attached to my coffee so I'm going to stop talking about this for a while before I cry.

2:. Is My Stomach... Eating itself?!?


The other side effect I experienced was a pretty significant "stomach ache" but a better way of describing it was a "stomach pain beyond words"  almost like my stomach lining was being ate away.  I don't know how else to describe it.  It was defiantly my stomach and it was right under/below my lungs.  It was after I ate or when I was hungry.  My husband thinks that my body was overproducing stomach acid to help with all the new whole foods I was eating and I tend to agree with him.  It was pretty bad though.  I was feeling so great in so many other areas of my life, but after I ate I would have such intense pains.  I never got bloated, I never had stomach "issues" and I was completely perfectly regular in that area.  But the stomach pains were very significant.

3:.  Slight boredom

Honestly, I almost wouldn't list this.  I was really enjoying the foods I was preparing.  I enjoyed feeling full until the next meal and I didn't really have strong cravings.  There was a time about 3 weeks in though that I got slightly bored.  I wanted to eat something off plan just to eat something different, but I didn't really crave it or need it.  I know I didn't want to feel sick again and it was easy to talk myself out of it.  So really this was a non-issue but it did happen a few times.

The 'Benefits'

1:.  Improved mood but more importantly, PEACE

Everything seemed more stable.  I wasn't irritated as easily, I felt more optimistic, and I definitely wasn't depressed anymore.  I had recently been diagnosed with Chronic Stress Disorder and was having a hard time dealing with my stressful job.  I also had a second job due to our current finances and having three day weekends from my other job, it just made sense.  I really like my second job but it was a lot on my plate.  On the Whole30, it became infinitely easier to deal with life's day to day stresses.  It wasn't the end of the world when something stressful happened and I had peace and the ability to work through it.  The biggest thing that meant the most to me was that when I fell asleep at night, I was happy and content.  I used to fall asleep crying a little while praying to God that he would help me ... feel better I guess. But it just kept coming out, Help Me.  I was so uncomfortable falling asleep that all I could do was a very childish,very hopeless prayer of "Please God, just help me.  Just do something"  The first week on Whole30, I was falling asleep praying "Thank you, Lord, for showing me the Whole30.  Thank you God."  I felt that much better already and my hope was growing.

Feeling Free

2:. My clothes look GOOD on me

I noticed instantly that my clothes were getting looser.  They started to actually look good on me.  I didn't have that uncomfortable feeling each day getting dressed.  I was so excited that my dress pants weren't so tight and knew that soon I could start fitting into my old pairs.  I knew that I was going to lose weight on this plan pretty early on.  I tend to believe that a lot of this was due to the dairy I had been consuming and the inflammatory effect it was having on my body.  I did end up losing 9 lbs.

3:.  No more perma-cold

Pre-Whole30 I was constantly feeling like I was sniffling/sneezing and waking up stuffy.  I think once again my culprit here is dairy because of the inflammatory effect.  I did get a head cold during my whole 30 but was able to kick it quickly.  I started waking up and noticing less of that yucky stuffy feeling and clearer breathing.

4:.  I got the Tiger Blood!!!!!!!!!!!

On Day 26, it happened to me.  I was starting to wonder where it was but when it came, it was soooo exciting! I had a busy night on my feet at my second job the night before, had to be up super early for Church Worship team that day, and then went straight back to work that evening.  But I felt full of energy! I was happy! My clothes looked good! My skin looked good! I worked all day and still had energy to spare.  I knew it right away, this was Tiger Blood.  I promise you it made everything else in my journey worth it.

5:.  My skin is Glowing... and it's not hurting!

Before Whole 30, acne everywhere and redness

I have always struggled with acne.  My face would get inflamed and yet very easily as well.  I'm red head so I have fair skin but this was beyond that.  I've long suspected dairy.. again.  I just never could give it up.  But sometimes my acne was painful too.  I started adding coconut oil religiously to my skin routine morning and night once I started the Whole30 and my skin began to kinda glow.  I already did it a little before but Whole30 just made me wanna really commit.  I still got some pimples, but not anything compared to what I had.  I count this area a big non-scale victory for me.  I stopped wearing makeup almost entirely and not felt very self conscious.  I had very little redness and irritation and my makeup went on smoother.

After Whole30-No makeup; No problem!

6:.  And the cycle continues... but not as bad

So, I got my monthly visitor twice in my Whole30.  This is because day 1 was...day 1 also and my cycles are only 26-28 days apart.  The first time was the beginning of the Whole30 so it was..bad.  The second time was day 27 of my Whole30.  I had just gotten Tiger Blood the day before and it was a whole other ball game.  I went to work ALL day, did not use my heating pad, did NOT use Ibuprofen at all and I cleaned the house when I came home!  This is so significant I could cry.  This is so much more than a "diet".  This is a healing plan.  I feel like a human being for the first time and that I am not a slave to my disease.

Overall... I cannot say enough good about this program.  My husband is intrigued and he may join me soon, once he is done traveling for work.  Meanwhile, I am onto Round 2 today and excited for more Non Scale Victories and a more happy and manageable life!

Preach, Jamie Oliver.

Bethany
@whole30_chronicles

Whole 30 - DAY ONE

Well, here it is! Day One! I can't believe I'm finally doing this.  I'm kind of overwhelmed with feelings of failure already.  I know I shouldn't and my husband keeps telling me to speak positive things.  I guess when you're just so hard on yourself already you think the worst is going to happen.  But after grocery shopping and meal prepping for this week, I felt pretty powerful actually! It is very strange.... Looking at a label an going "Nope!" and that feels very good and powerful.  The food that I have, I am actually excited to eat.  I think that's what's different about the whole 30.  I don't load my grocery cart up with leafy vegetables and fruit and a few low fat high chemical extras that I'm not excited for.  I get to eat grass-fed ground beef, Pork Loin, and chicken thighs.  I also get yummy fats like avocados, coconut oil/milk/butter, and it was awesome making the Whole 30 Mayo and the Sunshine Sauce.  Still gotta make the Morrocan Sauce though.

I followed this meal plan for week one, and that just took most of the anxiety away!  God bless Melissa Joulwan!  I followed everything to a T and it just really helped me feel more powerful and prepared.  Now I know I will need to take some initiative in the future to plan my own recipes and meals etc but I just for now need this plan showing me exactly what to do.

Soo last night, I had a few glasses of wine and ate a bowl of pasta for my "last meal".  I started pitching just about everything that was off plan, and ate a few of those things too.  Also very relevant because  yesterday was "Fat Tuesday", the day before Lent.  I decided to start today which was Lent as my co-worker who is doing it with me wanted to do.  So after I had my cheat meal and finished up meal prep, I GOT SICK.  Yeah, I got sick... what the hell.  Plus I got a whole lot of anxiety and dreams of failure.  This morning I was still a wreck from being sick at night and called of from work, which I really needed to go into work today to get some things done and be on track with my cases.  So, not the best start.  At all. I just made Aidell's Apple Chicken Sausage, reheated some green beans sauteed in coconut oil, half of a baked sweet potato, and half of an avocado.  I was/am still so sick I can't finish it. However, I have been talking with my co-worker who is doing it and we are both just really proud of ourselves for being on day one! It's exciting after talking about doing something and comparing notes on research we've been reading for like a year.  It's time to actually do something and stop being so miserable!  In our small town, there's not a lot of options and frankly, not a lot of other people eating the way we are.  We are the minority.  But we. are. doing. it.

So HERE WE GO!! WOOOOO!!!

Whole 30- Newbie Chronicles

Many of you may have found my little blog through my new instagram, Whole30_Newbiechronicles.  I'm happy you're here! You're now my little inner circle; the people who I share my thoughts with beyond what I normally would.  If you've found this blog, you probably don't know me personally, and I love that!  I share a lot on here and it's nice to be a little more open.

If you do know me, this blog may share a little more about myself than I share in my day to day with you.  That's okay too, but if you have any questions about things I post here, ask me in person! Also, maybe it's a good lesson in "don't judge a book by it's cover."

If you only knew what I was going through behind this smile.

When we last left off, I was healing and rejoicing in the renewal of something very important to me.  God had never left me and got me through the most difficult time in my life.  I was so excited, thankful, and happy.  I had lost over 40 lbs, some of it through healthy diet and exercise, and the other lbs were through starvation and overwork when I was walking my difficult journey.  I was down to 127lbs, and not in a healthy way.  When the stress subsided and my husband snuggled me, loved me and took me out to dinner all the time, I became relaxed, happy and thankful.

And fat.

I got fat.

There ya go, people!  See, I told you I would be honest.  Thank God for the support of lovely strangers. Don't judge. Don't judge.

I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease in April 2014.  More about that later.

I have been pretty miserable with my health for about a year, and the depression hit with my diagnosis.  I have been researching the Autoimmune protocol, Paleo, Endo Diet and other types of elimination protocols for about a year.  I'm a total nerd and I love reading about healing through nutrition.  I love that kinda crap.  

Enter in:  WHOLE 30!

One of my co-workers has been struggling with an autoimmune disorder as well and I have opened up to her with my struggles and trying to learn more.  She asked me last week to hold her accountable throughout her first whole 30 and asked if I'd like to join.  I quickly researched it and I was ALL IN.

So I totally completely freakishly jumped in!

Now, I am an informed junk food over eater.  I know it's bad, I know why, and I still eat it.  Did I mention I also have chronic stress disorder? 

Ya....I'm a mess...

I created aforementioned Instagram account and immediately began my personal journal.  I started my week one meal plan so that each Meal is accounted, shopped and prepped for.  I even got another co-worker and maybe my husband to join!

The day one of my Whole 30 is going to be on February 18th, which is the first day of Lent.  Please Join me along the way!

More Than Enough- A year & a half in review.

Let me catch you up to date since the last post you have viewed.

Much has happened, changed, been lost, been gained, been destroyed, been restored, and forgiven.  Forgotten.

And I am thankful.

SO... we moved to Florida.

Jacksonville, to be exact.

This is the night we arrived, full of excitement.  Nothing could bring us down! We lived in a place that looked like this, had exciting downtown life, restaurants, people, and business opportunities.  In fact, Dane started working at a Verizon in St. Augustine, a new location that he was excited to be at. The plan was for Dane to essentially "launch" this brand new store and we would be there 6 months then move back home to Ohio.

We moved into a fabulous apartment {that had a POOL!} and I set out to get new jobs & enjoy our new location. 

The goodwills here were the bomb.com.  We got our new Florida clothes and I got new jobs at Starbucks and Panera.  Dane started looking like this:

I got red highlights in my hair, kept working out, and I was looking all like this:

We were having a blast.  Life was good.  Love was in the air.  We were going out to eat all the time, dreaming, exploring our new home, and loving life.  We were about to buy these beautiful bikes to ride on the beach.  According to us, and our plan, life was about where we wanted it as a young couple.

Then, every thing changed.

There was intense hardship we didn't see coming.

I drew closer to GOD.

God said really sweet things to me like "You are not alone" and "I love you more than anything" and "I love Dane that much too".

And I learned to say "I know, I love you too" and that turned into "I know I can trust you" and that turned into "I trust you with everything" and that turned into "YOU are my everything.  Nothing else matters".

I lived like I never lived before.  I threw caution to the wind.  I loved God, I loved people, I loved my husband, with nothing in return.

For four months that summer and fall, I worked 80 hour weeks to stay where I was.

I worked at Starbucks a regular shift of 5am to 1:30pm and then a shift at Panera from 2pm to 11pm.

Then, my alarm went off at 3:45am and I did it all again.

Boy that did a number on me physically.

I said I was still dieting and losing weight but the reality is I was starving and overworked.  I looked like this:

When I was too exhausted to breathe, GOD gave me breath.  When I was more alone than ever, God gave me DIANA.

My mentor, my friend.  Diana was the friend of my manager at Starbucks.  She introduced us and little did we know what would happen next.  Diana was more than I deserved in a friend.  She was a breath of Grace into my life.  She taught me and poured into me.  We shared life together, we shared countless hours we should have been doing other things.  We shared our deepest parts of our souls.  She taught me SO much.

A year later, I learned that I even taught HER.

I was living and feeling more than ever before. 

I was walking in His strength daily.  I was attending Access Church, I was even teaching piano lessons to my Starbucks manager's son.  Carlisle was my faithful pal, forgiving me for the walks that turned into runs because I had to go back to work and snuggling me when I cried a little in my bed at night.


They also offered me promotion to shift supervisor at both Starbucks and Panera and the managers poured into me.

I worked with all my heart and lived with all my heart.  And prayed with all my heart.

And my prayers were answered.

On October 22, 2013, in Delaware Ohio this happened:

If you know me, you know this story and what is depicted in this picture.

If you don't, you don't know the story, but you just need to know this part.  GOD is enough.

God is ENOUGH. 

GOD IS ENOUGH.

He carried me through and walked beside me and I knew His promises to me were sure.  And I knew HE loved me and I knew He loved Dane and I knew that was enough.

The rest, as they say, is history.  The rest is just the details.

The meat is in that picture and in my heart.

Three Years of Marriage

God is MORE than enough.

Moving! {and not moving much on the scale}

In case a lot of you didn't know {which you probably don't because we haven't told many people} we are MOVING! {again...wah.. wah...}.  Which I am not really looking forward to but I am definitely going to try to see it as a positive and not a negative and more of a fresh "do over" if you will and a new start to the new changes I've already made in my life!  It is out in the country between where we live now and where we work so it will cut gas expenses in half and the rent is reasonable and no utilities except electric.  It was a hard decision but it was one we knew we had to make.  Dane is very excited to move out in the country which makes me happy because I think that maybe one day I could talk him into buying a house in the country! We will hopefully be staying in this duplex for a while until we save up a good down payment on a house.   The puppies can have a place to run and we will save money in gas and rent in the meantime.  So here's to a fresh start!

In other news, the 20 lb weight loss has only increased to a 21 lb weight loss in 1 week and a half's time! Just so you know, I was totally expecting this and I am not worried at all.  It's about time for me to switch up my exercise routine or modify  my eating habits so jump start the weight loss again and I am ready for the challenge! I am starting to follow some of the tips from this website.

Here's what happens when Dane horses around on the recliner.  I told him we would tip! Then the dogs got him :)

Skinny Mushroom Pasta

Today I tried a modification of a recipe from my favorite site right now, Skinnytaste.com! 

Let me tell you, pasta is one of my favorite foods.  I think it is my favorite food.  It's part of the reason I got so fat! When I was having a bad day, {or heck even a good day!} all I wanted was to curl up with a big bowl of buttery, cheesy, tomato-saucy pasta.  I would add hot pepper flakes and cilantro on top.  Now this might not seem that good to you but sadly it was heaven to me.  I know that,  to make matters worse, I ate well over the serving size.  I ate white pasta, not whole wheat, because I thought it tasted better. I added my favorite little meal to myfitnesspal.com this afternoon.  The results are staggering: 1,474 calories.  That's 274 calories more than my daily allowed amount.  I cried a little when I saw the total because I guarantee you I did not exaggerate the ingredients I put it.  I ate this huge bowl once to twice a week.

I am being real with you because I have to be real with myself.  People tell me that I was not that unhealthy and I appreciate their sentiment but I must tell you all that it is not true and I am not going to believe that complacent lie.  I was being unhealthy, all the while laughing and saying "I enjoy pasta! It's my favorite food, so what's the problem with a little indulgence?"  If we're not careful, our indulgence can make us obese by eating it just two or three times a week!

So in comes my little pasta experiment today.  Now, I have been reading how you can eat pasta on a healthy diet as long as it is whole wheat and in moderation but I have to be honest:  I have only eaten it twice and it scares me.  I don't trust myself with it.  But I have been working very hard lately and I was a bit under my calories today so I decided, pasta sounds good.  I am going to do this the smart way. 

I found Pasta with Asparagus on SkinnyTaste.com and decided I could modify it to Mushroom Pasta based on what I had.  My darling husband Dane loves asparagus so I would have made it with that and mushrooms if I had asparagus, but alas I did not.  This recipe was easy and oh so satisfying!  I made it with a cup of healthy, antioxidant packed green tea, and it was perfect for my 2:30pm meal.  With a calorie count of 240 per serving, this totally hit the mark for me.  Enjoy!

It's finally here! 20 pounds gone!

So, this kind of calls for a post! I finally hit my 20 pound milestone! This is such a big deal for me for two reasons- 1) It is really hard to get past that first initial 5 to 8 pound weight loss and it kind of slows down from there.  You're body actually fights you to get that 20 pounds off.  2) I am in the 140's! Which is a big deal to me because that's where I was on our wedding day! Of course I have a long way to go until my UGW.  The good news is that 125 is only 24 more pounds away and I am as motivated as ever!

As far as the BMI scale goes, I have 9 more pounds to lose to be within a healthy weight range which is the most important thing to me!  My risk for obesity related diseases will greatly diminish and most likely disappear.  This is something that a lot of young women today do not think about.  You might think that curvy is in (which it is) but when you go so far as to jeopardize your health, you will not be able to reason away the diseases that come with it.  That is what I am really convicted about.  I went so long thinking that someday the weight would magically melt off (like it did in high school) and telling myself that I was a healthy young woman.  I could have gotten hypertension, or type 2 diabetes, or heart disease, or PCOS which would mean I would not be able to provide my husband or I with children and my parents with grandchildren.  It's real people.  It's not a joke and you can't reason the diseases away.  I want girls my age to know that we are responsible for our bodies and we are in our mid twenties.  The pounds are not going to evaporate from here on out.  Respect your bodies for the long run!

Speaking of run, I ran 3 miles last night without stopping! It was amazingly easy and felt so good when I was done.  I am not so much focusing right now on a particular source of exercise or any program right now, mostly diet.  I do find that I have more energy, all types of exercise are more enjoyable to me, and I can do them as I please.  That's been the dream for me! I don't dread exercise because I pick what I do and I constantly surprise myself by what I can do!  I also found that last night helped to run with my friends, Emily and Micheal, who helped set my pace so that I didn't get tempted to burn myself out early.  I think Michael and I both agreed we could have gone four miles if the sun hadn't started going down!  And Emily is truly an inspiration from her hard work and commitment to becoming healthy! It really is great to have a good support system while losing weight.

To finish my happy post and day, here is a picture of my babe, Nahla! Happy Monday everyone! <3

Cilantro Lime Tilapia Tacos

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!

Today I made Cilantro Lime Tilapia Tacos and they were a hit with the hubby! Another successful recipe from Skinnytaste.com.  That Gina is a genius! I was a little nervous because fish and taco never seemed to go together to me.  I gave them a try and they turned out excellent! Super duper healthy too.  Tilapia and the avocado I included add those important MUFA's (monounsaturated fatty acids). 

I started reading The Flat Belly Diet today and I must say I am very interested.  I am learning about visceral fat and the negative effects that kind of fat around your mid-section can have on your health! It's kind of scary! If you are a lady and you have larger than a 35" waistline you are at risk for a plethora of medical conditions which include diabetes and heart attacks! 

In more uplifting news, today is 150 lb day and I'm very excited about the fact that in a few short days (or hours!) I will be in the 140's!! And I will have hit 20 pounds gone! Oh yeah! Woot woot! :)  After that, not to far to go until my ultimate goal weight of 125! I am feeling very motivated:)

Trusting... and turning... {and tithing}

What a morning it has been and what lessons I am learning. Whew...

I have said this previously in my blog; this is mostly for me to write, to vent, to chronicle, to log, to reflect and to express.  It's also to share to those who like to read it.  Sometimes, the content of my blog is not something everyone might be interested in and that's perfectly fine! Additionally, this might offend some people who are uncomfortable with this topic and I apologize that is the case.  That being said, I am going to share about finances in regards to tithing.  If anyone is uncomfortable with that, I understand and you do not have to read this post if that's the case. 

This is my honest post about my daily struggles with money and trusting GOD, the maker of everything and the owner of all money (if you believe GOD is sovereign over all things as the Bible says, he also owns your money).

Last night, I made my grocery list and meant this blog today for that topic of grocery/recipe planning and shopping..

But that is not what I need to write about today.  This morning, I woke up to find out that my paycheck was dramatically less than expected and budgeted, my landlord cashed my check before the date written on the check, which was her fault and the bank tellers fault {and my fault as I found out this morning for post-dating a check}, and my checking account had over drafted and hit me with three separate fees for no funds.  I immediately broke down...  This is hard for me because I have major control issues with my money and stress has been building ever since Dane lost his job in December... Here is why I feel the way I do about money.

Ever since I was small, my parents taught me the importance of tithing and how the Lord would always bless you through obedience to him, no matter if it seems like 10% is a lot.  Honestly to me it never really hurt me that bad to tithe.  My parents told me that when I was little and they were very young and poor, it didn't matter whether or not they had enough money for groceries or utilities, they tithed faithfully, and somehow they would always have enough groceries and the bills would always be paid.  I believed the lessons that my parents were teaching me! No matter what, God will provide for you when you obey.  He never will let you down.  I am not trying to sound better than anyone who has struggled with not tithing, but every single time I have made a paycheck, I have tithed 10% on it.  It is engrained in my spirit that much.  There is no thinking about it.

When I went off to college, money became an issue.  I took out loans to attend, some of which were 17 and 18k.  Multiply that by four years and I was already in the hole.  I used my credit card and debit card as though they had unlimited funds and although I worked all four years, I never saved a cent.  I charged up my credit card and over drafted my checking account.  I could never understand how other people did it when there were so many things we needed {wanted} to live!  All through that I tithed to my church back home or to my church in I attended at college, but I never walked in obedience through the rest of my finances whatsoever.

When I got married, I brought debt into our marriage and bad spending habits to boot.  Dane & I attended the Dave Ramsey classes and never looked back. These are Bible based financial classes that we took through our church. I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone but especially new couples wanting to get married.  It was invaluable to us   Please look into it.  Here is the website: http://www.daveramsey.com/home/

We saved our baby step 1, $1000 emergency fund in the bank, as fast as we could and budgeted every cent.  Once we hit the $1000 we would start paying down our lowest debt {our wedding rings. How sad that those were our lowest debts?!} As soon as we would start the debt snowball and emergency would happen and the $1000 would be gone.  We hit a few fast snowball streaks when Dane was making good money in Wooster but mostly we budgeted and scrutinized every cent!  Dane agreed with me on tithing, which he did not do before being a Christian, so that was a huge thing for us to be on the same page with our money.  We were united and my spending habit I funneled into a budgeting habit! Ask Dane, I am addicted to budgeting.  All the rush I would get out of spending of every cent, I now got from saving every cent!  I always have my excel spreadsheet up on the computer planned out months and months in advance.  I never miss a thing on our banking statement which I check daily.  These past few months however, have been bleak.  Dane's income being gone and mine being insufficient, I had no idea how we were going to stay afloat at all.  BUT GOD...

We never stopped tithing although my almighty spreadsheet told me it wouldn't be enough.  The spreadsheet didn't account for God's provision.  In January and February alone, we were given $500 out of the blue through random gifts of love and kindness from members of the church and family.  That was the encouragement I needed that everything was going to be okay because God was looking out for us.  After that when things started looking bleak again, we received a call out of the blue from a small home church saying they were going to pay our rent for the months of March and April.  We were grateful beyond measure and I know that was God! I knew then that no matter what we would survive.

This month, we didn't know how we were going to pay rent.  Our parents have already helped us out more than considerably and we didn't know where to turn.  Just when I was about to despair {haven't I learned my lesson?}, I remembered that I got paid three times in May! I always pay bills on the 1st and the 15th with the checks I get every 2 weeks.  This gave me a whole other paycheck to work with.  After that, we found out Dane got a job and he was going to get a paycheck in May!  Everything was going to be more than peachy soon!

Then I woke up to the mess I mentioned earlier this morning.  I said, "God, what do you want me to do?".  He said, "Do not despair, it will be fine.  You will be provided for".  I had no idea how this was to happen, because with the charges, we would not have enough for groceries, water bill, gas bill, or gas for our cars together, let alone one of those expenses separately!  If we did not tithe, we would have enough to just scrape by barely.  I cannot believe I even let that thought it my mind, but I deleted the tithe amount out of my excel spreadsheet.  For an hour I fretted and freaked out.  I calmly {I thought} called my landlord, who felt terrible, and then called Chase, explained the situation and they explained that really there was no such thing as a post dated check anymore, they weren't responsible, and Key bank that cashed it was not responsible.  I begged for the fees to be reversed.  After much talking, begging, reasoning, and pleading, they were reversed.  I sat there and felt so guilty for taking GOD out of the equation.  I wrote my tithe check instantly.  I said a silent prayer and gave it all to GOD.  I went to the grocery store.

I just want to tell you that there is no way that this is not a GOD thing.  I walked into the grocery store praying over my grocery list.  I calculated every single item to the penny.  I prayed and prayed and prayed and what normally costs me over $100, cost me $55.00!!! Fifty five dollars people!  I have enough to put gas in our cars, maybe even pay a utility bill, but guess what:  

I'm not worried anymore.

Fresh Tilapia, mmmm.

Dane & I are in love with this new site called skinnytaste.com ! The author, Gina, takes comfort foods and foods found in most restaurants and makes them skinny.  Foods like cheesy fries and chicken parmesean .... mmmm. We made our first recipe from the site called Baked Garlic Lemon Tilapia.  It was only 172 calories a serving! We only used 4 tilapia filets since I only eat one and Dane can eat up to 3 servings.  It was AMAZING! I am amazed by the simplicity and the great flavor.  It was a great addition to a warm sunny day off together. 

In other news, Dane is doing great at his new job. He says it feels great to begin working again and he feels as though he is able to do everything he needs to do.  It really is such a blessing that the last three days have gone so well.  That is what I have been praying for and I know a lot of you have as well.  Just know that the prayers definitely work! Continue to pray for strength, physically and emotionally, and blessings on his day.  Love you all!

Hello skinny jeans

Finally!!

Okay, so Saturday was a very exciting day for me and I have to share.  (Dane says I shouldn't flaunt my hot new self online but hey I don't feel that hot I just have to share the excitement!) I fit into a pair of what I like to call my pre-wedding jeans that I used to love and wear all the time! They are seriously my favorite pair.  I'm not sure if tears of joy didn't come out.  It is such a good feeling to be "normal" again.  I don't think I realized just how happy it would make me to slip on my old friends.  It feels pretty darn good.  Oh and that jean jacket, haven't worn that since my wedding rehearsal!

Life is beautiful, dress accordingly.

Let every step you take...

Today I reminded that what I do matters.

How I treat people matters.  What I put in my mouth matters.  How I go about my day, how I treat my husband, how I do at my job, how I treat my belongings and my little puppies, it all matters! The big and the little things, God is in control of, because they are all important to Him and they should be important to me! Today I am feeling extra blessed that my husband is going back to work after 4 months and 3 days of hard times.  I am so stressed and worried about his health and stress level but I know that I can give it all to God! because it MATTERS to him! He cares! And He cares about Dane so much and about how I deal with my stress! So I'm going to be praying like a mad-woman today!   If you get a chance, you can too!

I hope that every step I take gets me closer to not only my goals my to my Creator.

Here's a little picture for you that Dane took last night after a run/heart talk with my sister-in-law.  I am 151 lbs and 18 pounds down at this point.  Definitely not where I want to be but I have made progress and I feel better than I have in a long time!  I don't necessarily like posting pictures of myself for everyone to see but in a way it's strange because people see me everyday! Somehow when I see pictures of myself I go "that can't be how I really look!" but it is! And it's so important that now finally I am giving myself that reality check!  So here you go! Down 18 pounds.

My journey so far:.: weight loss and beyond

Hello blogging world! My first post is written out of the simple need to write again! I love following all this blogs but I also need a place to share my ideas, thoughts, and dreams. I think everyone should have their own blog. I used to be somewhat of a writing junkie in college; starting all my papers before I had to just because I wanted to write.  Nerdy, I know. Now I do not do it anymore because I have no reason to except that I want to and that is reason enough!

That being said, a little about myself:  I got married in 2010 to the love of my life.  I had graduated in 2009 from Malone University with a bachelor's in psychology and I wanted to wait a few years before starting college again to get my master's.  In that time, Dane, my devastatingly handsome best friend in the whole world, convinced me to marry him and I happily put all other plans on hold while we got married, worked our various jobs and moved from the little town of Mount Gilead to Wooster and back again.   It's been a very wild ride with a lot of highs and a few lows. In that time, Dane has been very sick and hospitalized with no explained cause.  He will faint a few times a week.  With all the stress and the caring for my husband, I forgot about myself.  I realized very starkly on March 8th 2012 that I was headed down a bad path for myself.  I had let myself become less than a priority in my own life.  I was a normally vibrant, intelligent, and healthy young redheaded girl who loved learning playing piano, writing, running, and spending time with friends and being active in my church.  None of those activities or adjectives any longer defined me.  I had a moment of deep realization that I was the only one who could fix it and take of me!  My wonderful husband and I had a heart talk and I expressed that I indeed was going to take care of myself for the first time in a long time.  I told him that this was going to be for me and I might seem like I'm being selfish at first but to know that I will be a better wife and future mother because of it and he agreed with me!

When we first got married, I was 144 pounds.  At 5' 3" that was technically overweight as far as the BMI scale goes.  I was happy with myself for the most part, while always inside wishing I weighed about 125 or so, which was my high school weight and where I was most comfortable.  However I never did much to change it drastically at that time.  I felt beautiful on my wedding day and it truly was one of the happiest days of both of our lives! We got engaged in November and married in March and never looked back! After the wedding we went straight to Disney World and ate at the best restaurants and lived it up for two weeks straight. We had a blast and the lifestyle never stopped when we got back from the honeymoon.  We ate out constantly and ate whatever and whenever we wanted.  My husband is tall, 6' 1", and I still felt the need to eat exactly as he did! On my small frame, that did not start looking too good.  I never weighed myself.  I refused to.  I knew that I wouldn't like what I saw and pretended I was fine. I was not fine.  We moved to Wooster where there were many local amazing fine dining restaurants and became somewhat of food and wine snobs.  We had so much fun going out to eat and tasting wine.  Sometimes we would spend over $200 at a restaurant! We thought it was our reward.  Dane had a stressful job but was making good money.  To make matters worse, we were trying all kinds of new foods and recipes which is great, but none of them were healthy.  We never ate breakfast and gorged late at night.  At work I went to fast food drive thrus or snacked on chips and energy drinks.  I put on 30 lbs in two years.  I found myself depressed, unhappy, no direction and with 169 pounds (maybe more, I avoided the scale like the plague) packed on my small frame and for whatever reason couldn't figure out how I got here.  Needless to say something had to give!  

I started this journey to be a better me and I never looked back.  I feel driven and motivated for the first time in my life! I researched weight loss as if it were a foreign language and pretended like I knew nothing about it. I started eating meals every three hours like clock work.  I drank a full glass of water in the morning and before meals. I read weight loss blogs and studied the women who wrote them.  I pinned every motivational fitness pin on Pinterest I could find. I drank only black coffee (a big step for me!).  I ate fruits and veggies like they were going out of style.  I bought my groceries strictly in four categories: produce, whole grains, lean meats, and low fat dairy.  I ate nothing but those things! I got a new love for fish, especially salmon which I never thought I liked! I started walking the dog for 30 minutes almost every day.  I took a my prenatal vitamin every day.  I instantly lost 5 lbs the first week! I felt so happy and so good! I never wanted to stop.  I made a goal to lose about 2 pounds a week and created large hard goals and mini weekly goals for my weight loss. I journaled every day.  I made a point to eat extremely healthy no cheating for 60 days because it takes 60 days to break a bad unhealthy habit.  I have finally reached my 60 days this Thursday!  And I can honestly say I never want to go back. 

March 12th, 2012

This is me when I started at 169.  I get a horrible feeling when I look at that picture still.  I had no idea I looked that way! It doesn't even look like me!  I still have a ways to go until my ultimate goal. My first goal is 140.  My ultimate goal is 115.  I have gone from 169 to 152 as of today and I want to keep going gung ho until I am at my healthy BMI! After that I am starting my insanity adventure! I'm so excited and that is my starting off point for this blog! It is meant more for inspiration and outlet for me, but if you're along for the ride, welcome!