I have said this previously in my blog; this is mostly for me to write, to vent, to chronicle, to log, to reflect and to express. It's also to share to those who like to read it. Sometimes, the content of my blog is not something everyone might be interested in and that's perfectly fine! Additionally, this might offend some people who are uncomfortable with this topic and I apologize that is the case. That being said, I am going to share about finances in regards to tithing. If anyone is uncomfortable with that, I understand and you do not have to read this post if that's the case.
This is my honest post about my daily struggles with money and trusting GOD, the maker of everything and the owner of all money (if you believe GOD is sovereign over all things as the Bible says, he also owns your money).
Last night, I made my grocery list and meant this blog today for that topic of grocery/recipe planning and shopping..
But that is not what I need to write about today. This morning, I woke up to find out that my paycheck was dramatically less than expected and budgeted, my landlord cashed my check before the date written on the check, which was her fault and the bank tellers fault {and my fault as I found out this morning for post-dating a check}, and my checking account had over drafted and hit me with three separate fees for no funds. I immediately broke down... This is hard for me because I have major control issues with my money and stress has been building ever since Dane lost his job in December... Here is why I feel the way I do about money.
Ever since I was small, my parents taught me the importance of tithing and how the Lord would always bless you through obedience to him, no matter if it seems like 10% is a lot. Honestly to me it never really hurt me that bad to tithe. My parents told me that when I was little and they were very young and poor, it didn't matter whether or not they had enough money for groceries or utilities, they tithed faithfully, and somehow they would always have enough groceries and the bills would always be paid. I believed the lessons that my parents were teaching me! No matter what, God will provide for you when you obey. He never will let you down. I am not trying to sound better than anyone who has struggled with not tithing, but every single time I have made a paycheck, I have tithed 10% on it. It is engrained in my spirit that much. There is no thinking about it.
When I went off to college, money became an issue. I took out loans to attend, some of which were 17 and 18k. Multiply that by four years and I was already in the hole. I used my credit card and debit card as though they had unlimited funds and although I worked all four years, I never saved a cent. I charged up my credit card and over drafted my checking account. I could never understand how other people did it when there were so many things we needed {wanted} to live! All through that I tithed to my church back home or to my church in I attended at college, but I never walked in obedience through the rest of my finances whatsoever.
When I got married, I brought debt into our marriage and bad spending habits to boot. Dane & I attended the Dave Ramsey classes and never looked back. These are Bible based financial classes that we took through our church. I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone but especially new couples wanting to get married. It was invaluable to us Please look into it. Here is the website: http://www.daveramsey.com/home/
We saved our baby step 1, $1000 emergency fund in the bank, as fast as we could and budgeted every cent. Once we hit the $1000 we would start paying down our lowest debt {our wedding rings. How sad that those were our lowest debts?!} As soon as we would start the debt snowball and emergency would happen and the $1000 would be gone. We hit a few fast snowball streaks when Dane was making good money in Wooster but mostly we budgeted and scrutinized every cent! Dane agreed with me on tithing, which he did not do before being a Christian, so that was a huge thing for us to be on the same page with our money. We were united and my spending habit I funneled into a budgeting habit! Ask Dane, I am addicted to budgeting. All the rush I would get out of spending of every cent, I now got from saving every cent! I always have my excel spreadsheet up on the computer planned out months and months in advance. I never miss a thing on our banking statement which I check daily. These past few months however, have been bleak. Dane's income being gone and mine being insufficient, I had no idea how we were going to stay afloat at all. BUT GOD...
We never stopped tithing although my almighty spreadsheet told me it wouldn't be enough. The spreadsheet didn't account for God's provision. In January and February alone, we were given $500 out of the blue through random gifts of love and kindness from members of the church and family. That was the encouragement I needed that everything was going to be okay because God was looking out for us. After that when things started looking bleak again, we received a call out of the blue from a small home church saying they were going to pay our rent for the months of March and April. We were grateful beyond measure and I know that was God! I knew then that no matter what we would survive.
This month, we didn't know how we were going to pay rent. Our parents have already helped us out more than considerably and we didn't know where to turn. Just when I was about to despair {haven't I learned my lesson?}, I remembered that I got paid three times in May! I always pay bills on the 1st and the 15th with the checks I get every 2 weeks. This gave me a whole other paycheck to work with. After that, we found out Dane got a job and he was going to get a paycheck in May! Everything was going to be more than peachy soon!
Then I woke up to the mess I mentioned earlier this morning. I said, "God, what do you want me to do?". He said, "Do not despair, it will be fine. You will be provided for". I had no idea how this was to happen, because with the charges, we would not have enough for groceries, water bill, gas bill, or gas for our cars together, let alone one of those expenses separately! If we did not tithe, we would have enough to just scrape by barely. I cannot believe I even let that thought it my mind, but I deleted the tithe amount out of my excel spreadsheet. For an hour I fretted and freaked out. I calmly {I thought} called my landlord, who felt terrible, and then called Chase, explained the situation and they explained that really there was no such thing as a post dated check anymore, they weren't responsible, and Key bank that cashed it was not responsible. I begged for the fees to be reversed. After much talking, begging, reasoning, and pleading, they were reversed. I sat there and felt so guilty for taking GOD out of the equation. I wrote my tithe check instantly. I said a silent prayer and gave it all to GOD. I went to the grocery store.
I just want to tell you that there is no way that this is not a GOD thing. I walked into the grocery store praying over my grocery list. I calculated every single item to the penny. I prayed and prayed and prayed and what normally costs me over $100, cost me $55.00!!! Fifty five dollars people! I have enough to put gas in our cars, maybe even pay a utility bill, but guess what:
I'm not worried anymore.
Excellent Beth!
ReplyDeleteSo lovely!
ReplyDelete